Is comparison the thief of joy?
The title of this blog was inspired by the words of Theodore Roosevelt – ‘Comparison is the thief of joy’.
But was he right? Is comparison a joy thief or should we look at comparison in a more favourable way – maybe a steppingstone to something better?
According to the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 10% of our daily thoughts involve making comparisons. So, if you consider all comparisons to be negative you could be holding yourself back without realising it.
It’s your unique journey
When I walked part of the Appalachian Trail a few years ago while living in Montreal, there were signs all along the walk saying, ‘hike your own hike’. A clear message not to compare your own journey with anyone else’s. To do your own thing. To enjoy your moment.
I took a lot of inspiration from the sign and loved the idea of not comparing what I was doing to anyone else. If anything, I found it to be a healthy approach to life in general, not just about the trail I was on at the time. It was so refreshing not to feel the need to compare my experience.
Before this moment, I took a different approach to comparisons, I would see them as harmful, something that detracts from happiness.
Thankfully I now see them in a completely different light.
A different view
I was reminded of this sign when working with a group of entrepreneurs recently. One lady in the group said they were struggling to stop comparing themselves to their competitors, especially on social media. They said that they found themselves feeling overwhelmed and discouraged.
I completely understood what she was saying as did others in the room, it’s all too common to think that everyone else appears to have their lives sorted.
In my response I challenged her to turn this feeling of negativity on its head. I told her to consider times when comparisons might be a good thing.
A different mindset
Here are ways to use comparisons to boost happiness and motivation.
Take a look at the people you are comparing yourself with. Is this realistic? Are they top athletes for example?
Consider comparing ‘down’ not up all the time to gain a different perspective on your achievements.
Think about where you are on your journey and where the person you are comparing yourself to is on their journey. As Jon Accuf’s said . ‘Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.’
Re-adjust your expectations and set new ones.
Consider comparison to be like ‘market research’. See how others are doing and how they’re achieving their successes and look at ways you can do this too but with an injection of ‘you’ and your unique way of doing things.
Learn from those you compare yourself to.
Set your own ‘personal bests’ and look to continually develop.
Know your own version of success. And remember, you may have something that others don’t. Something others wish that they had.
Rediscover what is amazing about you, your life and your business.
Next time you find yourself making a comparison think how you can use it to your advantage. Don’t use the information to put yourself down, use it to build yourself up.
Finally, I have some effective tools and techniques to help you master these steps and free your path ahead so you can proceed to succeed! To learn more about them feel free to get in touch and book in a free discovery call.
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